Tender: soft, open, vulnerable
Tender: one who cares for and maintains
I have a tender heart and the heart of a tender.
My tender heart is soft and open, whole and full of holes, scarred from the wounds it has accumulated but not scared to face what those wounds reveal. My tender heart wants to be seen, wants the truth of my pain to be welcomed, to be held with grace and care, by others and by myself. My tender heart seeks out quiet and slowness, calm and warmth. My tender heart houses my vulnerability and heightens my sensitivity. It is the garden of my healing and the birthplace of my strength.
My tender’s heart is fierce and warm, attentive to whomever it holds, focused on the space it can offer and the care it can give. My tender’s heart wants to see people as they truly are, wants to know their struggles and honor their strengths. My tender’s heart wants to hold people in their wholeness. My tender’s heart houses my patience, my empathy, and my compassion. It is through my tender’s heart that I practice humility and forgiveness, that I get to live out my value of love and my belief in people.
Tenderness is an orientation towards the world. It carries a softness that allows for opening, for vulnerability. It requires patience and spaciousness. It has no room for urgency or harshness or the very notion of domination. A tenderness paradigm invites the wholeness of the self to show up with empathy, with care, with a desire to hold and a willingness to be held. Tenderness asks us to gaze upon each other with soft eyes, with a smile, with open arms. Tenderness asks us to be present with ourselves, often with our pain, our hurts, the places inside of us that are in need, that want to be tended to.
To be tender is an invitation to reveal the most delicate, gentle, embarrassing, and vulnerable parts of myself to the world with the understanding that it will sometimes be met with harshness or disinterest, but it will other times be met with care and love.
To be a tender is an invitation to dedicate the entirety of my focus, of my attention and care, to the wellbeing of something outside of myself, be that a fire, a garden, a friend, or community.
I aspire towards tenderness, towards my soft openings, and towards my kind holding.